welcome to my jungle

Dear Loyal Readers

For those of you hanging on to my every word, tie a knot, because this is not the end.

My current time-wasting site of choice is www.facebook.com, where all the cool kids from uni hang out.

The only problem, is that it does all your gossiping FOR you, evil geniuses that run that thing have a gold mine out there.

Meanwhile, it's -20 outside.

WHo wants to come with me to spain this august??

 

Love,

Shannon

Was there an air raid last night, or was that just me?

Something Drifted in, then i was up till all hours.

 

Again, i will sleep when i'm dead. Or just hibernate all winter, hmmm...

So I've spent my first ever freeish night in weeks putting up some pics, for the enjoyment of the mere handful of people who will actually read this (Ali, even if you're in scotland, you have no excuse, ) and notice that there are a few now albums/additions...

and there are more still nestled in my dinosaur camera somewhere, so stay tuned!

 

As for the past month or two, where to start? Today I found several "drafts" of good stories still on here, so yes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions!

<p><a href="http://www.evany.com/sleeptest/colon.htm"><img src="http://www.evany.com/sleeptest/myimages/thecolon.jpg" alt="I am a colon!" border="0" height="324" width="225" vspace="4"/></a><br />Find your own <a href="http://www.evany.com/sleeptest/">pose</a>!</p>

May 7th

 

So after my post-semester whirlwind, and some sunny days chilling at Shirley's organic haven in Ottawa after aimlessly wandering eastern canada i'm back.  Short-lived relaxation, as i have since resumed life on the edge: jaywalking, talking to strangers, eating unwashed fruit, and biking helmetless down Cumberland avenue.

 

Summer work has never felt so much like school... or been so interesting. At first i hated it: give me a pool full of kids to yell at, at least there i know exactly what i'm doing. Here, i am trying to catch fish in the air.

Despite all this... i love my lab*. Best view ever. An idea factory, and the best part is my supervisors don't know the answers either, they just tell me to try stuff until something works. Today i prepared/weighed several hundred samples of booster-type juices, the zen of repetition made the hours fly.

 

Great things about work:

- Warm and dry, wearing shoes, underwear and clothes every day.

-I get a lunch break (the thought is still very novel to me!)

-Riding the Ag glass elevator, w00t!!**

 

Emily finally got a Ukranian address, but i have no way of knowing if i've copied out the cyrillic characters or not so for all i know the letters may go to siberia.

 

I was shopping for Mother's Day cards, even hutterite ones ("you're a wonderful sister, and an exemplary mother"), realizing how hard it must be to not screw up at the parenting thing because i've done another horrible job holding down the fort recently with "busy" being my lame excuse (STFC stuff, b-days..). Stephen got sent home from school for saran-wrapping a girl to a tree and leah staying out all night coming home with weird drunken hair colours. Etc. They'll turn out ok, blind-faithed optimist that i try to be.

 

HOW IS SUMMER 1/8 DONE already?????

 

 

*Actually, G's lab, around which my coslaves Trisha and Heather and i tread on proverbial eggshells lest we incur the passive-aggressive wrath of G Himself, the product developer who likes Shiny Objects and stainless steel everything, including the sinks (which we're not allowed to use in case they get water spots), garbage cans (nary a fingerprint), and the reflective floor off which i would happily eat. Self-reportedly "a little bit anal", there are no germ-ridden dishtowels in this castle tower...

 

** By the way who says woot?

1. Owls

2. Pixel-eyed gamers like S when excited, before the seizures begin.

3. Sexually frustrated aussie nymphos with speech impediments ("Nice shoes, wanna w00t?")

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to stick pins in my eyes.

iN the words of adrienne vangool circa waskesiu august 2005, "i love my life right now!!!"

Why? Fresh air, good friends, old and new. What more can i really ask for?

It all stared thursdaywith a couple hours of quality zzZZzz's in my backyard, baked by the post-exam sun. Interrupted only by the telephone, singing ringing it's too early don't pick it up... (ok, fine). Greyhound, telling me where to go and how to get there. Friday, i don't even know what happened. I think there was a BBQ involved. I tried to quit my job. I sprinted into the wind nine times down a gravel road.

 

Yestersaturday morning practice with the new(er) generation of el grupo de tracko, sans workout plan or coach, evolved into a  woodchipped, mud-splatted,  exploratory pan-meewasin eco-challenge: trail running at its randomest. ( "Where have you guys BEEN?") It set the stage for a beautiful saturday:

 

Enter old friend Brrrriii, for a McNallyjuiced catch-up for a month of telephone tag.

Enter the Multicultural All-Stars, the ironically todos blancos  frisbee team, for a 1.5 hour scrimmage that proved more a tactical wind war than anything else. But, like surfing, pure unadulterated fun.

Just to make sure i didn't sit down or anything, enter Brandy and the carload of two-stepping branch-goers to remind me what alcohol tastes like and that you can get in wearing a grass skirt and snorkel, but not a license-plate belt buckle. (Yes, it was an actual Quebec license plate!) (Maybe that was the problem.) As the evening progressed and the two-step degraded to the hickmosh, it was time to dodge the elbows and make our exit.

 

...Which made this morning's game of cyclops tennis that much uglier. On occasion, when one of her friends slips a disc or goes to China, my mom calls me to fill in for her tennis group. More often than not, these mornings coincide with largish nights out: post-housecrawl, post-HAC, etc, so i'm not always entirely coherent... On a good day, my hand-eye coordination leaves much to be desired. Eye being singular, as i've run out of contacts (i still have 6 or so, but they are somehow ALL left eyes) and have since reverted to my uber-trendy glasses from grade 10. Who needs depth perception anyway? All these years, myperscription has changed only in the right eye. Swatting at fuzzy neon balls i recanted all the unkind things i ever said or thought in soccer (the only season i ever played Eastside, our goalie was blind in one eye).

 

Thankfully laura was in town so we could walk it off-  we must have circumnavigated all the bridges in town. Now that is some qt.

One exam left, but i think i've passed my saturation point.

(Rare) Family dinner:

 

Mother: "Magpies don't know how to build nests. Look, they're using the wrong twigs. Those aren't gonna work."

Stephen (chewing): "I wonder what chairs would look like if our knees bent the OTHER way..."

Leah (sporting itty bitty shorts): "OMG, i like, SO LOVE my LEGS right now!!!!"

Dad: "So, my mom's getting a new bionic femur" (To go with the titanium knee and tibia- she'll be like Wolverine)

Stephen : "Do turtles have teeth?" (Scorpions don't lay eggs, either.)

Eric (via phone): "well we ordered 3 kegs, and still ran out, so i'd say it was a success! But i'm studying lots now."

Me: "Melkesjokolade en lite stykke Norge" (Like they'd ever listen to me, right?) (Mmmm... German chocolate compliments of Toby)

 

First final goes at 9am tomorrow. Right now, trying (fruitlessly) to make myself care.

 

-Re-learned the art of sushi making

-Was awarded, for 3 years of blood, sweat and tears with the Huskies, a lovely ballpoint pen

-Watched march go out like a lamb

-ran over the train bridge (twice!) with snow sublimating all around

-saw canada geese coming back (Why?? Don't they learn?)

-observed the breakup of the postseason Beer Mile by campus security/cops

-after which i witnessed the fastest chugging of a bottled beer i have ever seen- by Sarah Aus Macca Herself

-discovered splendour in the sweeet green grass (even though its fake, indoor, and a soccer pitch)

-discovered that the pat can be fun in small doses... or large ones

-drove the stick shift in ridiculously high heels (such a feeling of power!)

-hugged a tree, er, volleyball player (who was ridiculously/handsomely tall)

-baked cinnamon buns and a roast

-Studied up on sieve perenium (you don't wanna know)

-had a hyperactive six-year-old piano student getwhooping cough

-Realized its APRIL and i'm getting OLD!

-Then realized how good it's been and how many regrets i don't have...

Don't get me wrong, i love winter.

It runs in the family: my mother was born in a southern-Saskatchewan roadside snowbank.

I love waking up and commuting in the dark. I love the telltale gravelly sound of a car braking to avoid hitting me, having sacrificed my peripheral vision in favour of a fur-trimmed hood. I love dry, albino lizardy skin and knowing that the only time i'm going to be around people in bikinis is when i'm putting electrodes on them for an ECG.  I love how i drove into a snowbank in last Saturday's whiteout and did some serious bobsleigh training trying to get it out. I love when cars bottom out on ruts, shoveling out parking space,and sacrificing coins to the powder when they miss the slot in the meter.

Though there are the perks: one can learn to be surprisingly dexterious with mitted hands, you get to tell stories about the tunnel you dug to get out the front door. Into the wind, and uphill both ways. Yes kids, that's how it was, back in the day, before the arctic melted, while dinosoars ruled the earth with nice skin.

 

Yet today's horizontal snowfall is but a breeze, and hopefully one of change.  A stubborn satisfaction stems from surviving the season, it keeps us fresh and develops in us an (albiet cynical) appreciation for the mild days, if/when they come, knowing that at any moment mother nature can turn bitch on us all once again. Or, I could just be a huge wimp.

 

Another spill:

Hey, 2 outta 3 ain't bad.

**Photo credits to Steph for some of the lovely bus shots**

As a rule, it has to be a gong show:

Day one, first event, we lost a pentathlete. Somehow, Crossley broke the biggest bone in the human body in the 60m hurdles. The freak biomechanical disaster has since been reported as a "sickening crunch". Having cleanly snapped his femur in half- i have never seen that in real life before, it took a 45-min track delay for the morphine to take effect before he could be transported to the hospital. Officially he is the toughest person I know, who lay soundless for all that time once the EMTs got there. Fittingly, the Huskies swept the men's pent, "for Pepper". 

 

It was a battlefield. Injuries abounded. In recent weeks the track has resembled a refugee camp with everyone sprawled out around the trainer's tables full of ice and bandages. We're a team held together by tensors, tape and sheer will. Ali got a migraine just before the 300 and had to bail, and Amber was barely walking  the morning after the 300m. Our 4x400m relay team dipped deep into the alternate pool and made the season of clambering for team spots look silly. Graeme pulled his hamstring in the 60m and in the men's 4x2, tall Jon got tripped by a short dude and took a spill- of goalkeeper proportions- across the unforgiving mondo after making the pass.

 

Despite all this, I pb-d in the 300 and came out 7th after my 11-place seeding. Whenever things don't go as planned, people false-start, meets run late or they redraw the lanes at the last minute and i get stuck blind on the outside, my races seem to go well. Todd even hugged me! (Ew?)

 

Traditions abound: The sea of green, the body paint, the obnoxious horns, the jackets and rhythmic clapping, the rookie scavvy hunt, the banquet, the after-party, post-party 7am departure and long bus ride...

Of course, only an hour out of Edmonton did i realize that i'd forgotten my pathology notes in the hotel room, and yes, the 40% midterm was yesterday.

 

You really can't win'em all!

 

Enjoying some free time at last. Hmm, it's also 2 am on a wednesday. Ahhhhhh....

 

Yesterday was one of those days where all the radio stations play shitty music, there are no parking spots, i'm freezing but the tea burnt the skin off my tounge, and my lecture slides printed ONE PER PAGE and ate up my whole print account.

I run, i turn left, three times per pain train of a race, catch my breath then do it again. Trying to describe the concept of "lactic"... Why do i do this to myself? Then go coldflush in the ice tubs with a bunch of goose-bumpy, half-naked [aside: can anyone really be half-naked?], similarly insane teammates? When it's already -30??? But you feel like a million frozen bucks after.  So the topic of conversation of the practice, naturally, it was a tuesday, was which (of the males) could get up an erection while submerged in 5 degree water. "Will you show us your boobs if i can do it?" asked a perpetually hopeful and hormonally charged rookie Simair brother. Dude, if you succeed, i will oblige. Studies (last semester) have demonstrated that it can't be done. Not even Chuck Norris could defy that law of thermoregulation*.

I digress, My heartfelt apologies.(

 

 

So anyway i had a ride to catch so i dried off and changed and left in a rush, only once i got outside and realized my ride had long since left did i remember that i'd sompletely forgotten my shorts and undies in there. Returning back to the tubs i was met with a raucous applause from the guys who thought it would be funny to wear my (pink! why that day?!) unmentionables on their heads and then put them back on the chair in a pile like i would have no idea... riiiight.

 

But that was yesterday. Today is another, much more serene (after i wrote the 3 midterms) day in the life of my calm, cool, and collected self. And if you believe that you'll belieive anything. I dropped the bomb on Todd that i'm not going to Texas fir training and he hit the roof so maybe i'll get kicked out of the group... hmm, KungFu anyone? I'll need a new sport.

 

I'm on the minimalism program for attendance this semester. Last sunday (or the one before?) i was in 3 time zones in half a day becuase west jet like that. Two sundays ago we drove to edmonton and went into a climate time warp because they have no snow there... and we're going back tomorrow!

See you on the other side.

 

 

*Incidentally, Todd Johnston also coaches Chuck Norris, and occasionally kicks his ass just to remind him who's boss. Or beats him with hurdle sticks, because they are handy and convenient. When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he first checks under his bed to make sure there are no Todd Johnstons lurking.

 

 

Sled Dog Friday- first the sewer system backed up and the toilets flooded the entire lower level, and people had to be herded outside to (frozen) port-a-potties, not to mention that the entire "overflow" parking was full and there were, I don't know, six thousand elementary school kids in there. Later that night we were warming up for our own race, and after an hour and a half of tinkering they couldn't get the gun to work so eventually we were told thanks for coming out and to come back and try the races saturday.

Saturday we raced (ourselves, thanks to a contrived seeding scheme) without a hitch. So why are we in a meet again?

 

****

Lyle!!!!

 

****

Beilys= gong show. Why, why??

 

****

Grammatical intervention: Driving down 14th today, a huge sign said "Election Poles" with an arrow on it. Civic duty prevailed: Mal had her knives handy so unscrewing and rearranging the letters was quick and efficient (aside from getting busted by Sarah and a carload of her roomates) unitl we found 4 more signs that needed altering! Yes, it got ridiculous, but they are all now changed.

 

Before you go to the "poles"...

Sunday Jan 22 http://smartist.livejournal.com/

I've just recieved an email from some Australian friends who, for reasons beyond my comprehension, are travelling across Canada by train in December. By the time they arrived here in Siberia, er, Saskatoon, for a brief stopover, they had already learned a few things about this place. Several provinces later, they've sent a larger list of their acquired knowledge... which i found entertaining because it's through their "unbiased" eyes.  In cases like this, it's better to ask forgiveness than permission, so I will post it here, unedited, for your enjoyment:

 

Whist being in Canada, Kel and I have become much much wiser. So today, whilst talking absolute rubbish, we came up with a huge, huge list of all the things we have learnt in the past three weeks. It may enlighten you Aussies, and for you Canadians... well we hope not to offend :)

1. Rest assured, whilst initially getting ready to g out may take 10-15 minutes, after three weeks, this time may be diminished to a mere 3-5 minutes

2. In relation to #1, ensure to go to the "washroom" (aka bathroom, toilet, dunny, pisspot etc) BEFORE getting dressed

 

3. In relation to #2, if the unfortunate occurs and you do need the washroom, allow time to be cautious of your many layers. Scarves are put around your face, if you pee on it, chances are you will end up wearing it on your face… does this need explaining?? Also, items such as cameras, phones, lip balm etc may be prone to go for a swim... make sure they are zipped up in your pocket.

 

4. Speaking of pockets, at any one time you may have as many as 15 pockets (we counted today). A small bag is a good idea.

 

5. Camera batteries, water bottles etc freeze. Not only do they freeze but cars do to. That’s right, you have to plug your car in. no antifreeze/antiboil from your number one super cheap checkout chick will save your car from freezing, so you park and then plug it in... Imagine that at Morayfield.

 

6. Scarves aren't only for homosexual males, they serve a purpose. Also on keeping warm, balaclavas do also serve a purpose. One must not assume that anybody wearing one is going to rob you or take your baby. Do not automatically give them your wallet.

 

7. The art of taking a photo fully gloved should be mastered. Frostbite is not overrated. On frostbite, one should know all four stages and get indoors when you proceed to stage three.

 

8. Footpaths are very slippery. If you are going to fall, take down the poor sucker besides you so you don't look like the only dickhead. Falling with a backpack on would be disastrous. Think of a turtle on its back.

 

9. Whilst crossing the road, look right, left, right, left right then left again. Well that is done initially, then just walk (concentrating on not falling on your ass) and hope like hell they stop for you

 

10. Snowballs are ACTUALLY rolled!!

11. Whilst in Winnipeg, if the temperature rises to -5/-10 degrees, this makes it perfectly acceptable to get out the miniskirst and F* me boots - seriously.

 

12. If your french isn't up to scratch and you find yourself in Montreal, just speak english and ad "La" or "da" in front of words and speak with your best french accent (note the french accent must not be confused with the german or indian accent as kelly and i have found, this is very easily done). Also, whilst pretending to speak french, be careful when quoting french songs from the Moulin Rouge, as you may find yourself talking in the street saying "will you go to bed with me tonight…"

 

13. If you find yourself running out of money and are looking for a buck on the side, choose your profession wisely.  Prostitution and Metre maids should be avoided as- you may get sued for pocking someone’s eye out - MOST men don't find fat albino lizards attractive.

Fat = who knows what’s under these layers. Poutine and Bagels are not good for the hips

Albino = white skin that hasn't seen the light of day

Lizard = very, very dry skin

All in all it’s not really pretty!

 

14. One takes a new appreciation for the addictive properties of nicotine. To get "kitted up" (ie. dressed) then go out in the freezing cold takes dedication (gloves must come off) - or stupidity

 

15. When in hostels, consider packing a pair of ear plugs. Snoring is the least of your worries. You never know when someone will be having sex on the top bunk - even when there are only girls in the dorm- girls have sex with each other. I speak from personal experience, I was the sucker on the bottom bunk!

 

16. a beaver is actually an animal that they have in Canada. Referring to a hairy beaver does not make anyone flinch, nor does eating beaver, as they do actually eat beaver. Hence, beaver cannot be added to the banned words list

 

17. Believe it or not, it is cold here (duh) so it actually makes sense that Santa is in a huge fur coat and comes down the chimney. Yes people have chimneys. So you will not find Santa in Morayfield shopping centre with sweat patches under his arms.

 

18. Believe it or not, your tongue can get stuck to stuff. I Personally have made it my duty to try out this theory and when i have told Canadians along the way about my trial, i have been told that all canadian kids have done it. It apparently rips off the skin on your tongue. So i have been toying with danger, my adventurous streak has come out. Kelly has found me licking all sorts of objects or asking Canadians "if i stick my tongue on that..." So far, tests have revealed that you cannot get your tongue stuck on a tree, a window or a brick... but I'll keep you informed.

 

19. Finally, I must mention the thermal underwear. I don't think that even Elle could pull of horizontal stripes on her thermal underwear. Hence, we have come to believe that Canada was the birthplace of the line "I'll just go slip into something more comfortable" Otherwise there really would be a population crisis.

 

Okay well that's all i have time for right now, I’m sure Kelly will have thought of some others as well and so will i.  I hope it has been very informative and if you find yourself in this awesome country you will be a little wiser.

So for our STFC/Huskie party i decided to do an artisitc rendering of all the people, in gingerbread. This involved taking the average cookie cutter">cookie-cutter-man and twising the limbs into running strides, Starting with the distance runners. Unfortunately, during the baking process, even the leanest cookies puffed up and came out obese. Even the icing singlets didn't help. The recipie was heavy on the spice, so when i inevitably forgot about the last pan in the oven, the burning armoa of organic produce made the whole kitchen smell like dead leaves.  (Editorial comment: According to the recipients, they still tasted good!! They don't need to know what goes on in my kitchen:) It's a good thing it's a wholesome crowd that ate them up. On 2 separate occasions i brought cookies to parties in Toowong and i was surprised when the people didn't lunge for them but instead eyed them suspiciously on the table, exchanging glances. At first i was a bit put off until a guy finally came and asked me if they were hash cookies, and if so, what kind, just so he'd know how fast to go. Only then did i realize that my innocent attempt at a hostess gift had been misconstrued as space cake.

 

Though starting the Christmas baking was a welcome distraction from my paper-churning weekend: 5600 words in less than 2 days! (I am a machine!!) Carpal-tunnel syndrome, i suppose, is a special kind of zen. After recent classes in movement analysis, i can now effectively describe this condition to you (as well as many others!), using expressive dance.

 

 

Readings.... with words such as "futuring"... since when is future a verb?

From ex-housemate Henrik- for the love of linguistic torture and other hipocrisy:

 

Attention deficit burnout disorder goes something like this:

It took me an hour to write the word Thursday  on a page, with all the distractions. I must have caught a chill. Tylenol. Past noon, my contacts weren't in yet, and maybe the plants weren't watered, the floor was slanted. I fell asleep on it anyway. I'd been hit by a truckload of bricks. Or something. Thursday is an island somewhere in the Torres Strait. This is the aftermath.  As far as 24 hour flu is concerned, this too shall pass. My day off, if you will.

 

Background. Aside from the whole papers/exams shbang: I'm not going to whinge about it, it's a fact of life. This is about quality time with old friends! I can count the number of hours of sleep i've had since monday on my fingers. The past 56 hours or so with my Aussie visitors have been bloody champion save for the 2 finals thrown in the mix! So good to catch up on what the "folks back at uni" are up to. Who would have thought that licking frost would be such a novelty? Life is best when you can share simple things in life with unjaded people who've never been to "Saskatchatoon" (learning where were are was a project. "ReGIna?? That's your CAPITAL?").  Things like walking on a train bridge in -25 (not coutning windchill), frozen toes and eyelashes, rice krispie cake, masochism such as skating, prairie fire shots, and having to unplug the car before going anywhere.  But, when the train is on time and hours are precious, you can sleep when you're dead! (In light of recent events, this phrase is probably not in the best of taste.) McGuires on a wednesday night is as good as any for a going-away gathering.

 

So as of this morning i only had the physical or mental capacity to grip a scalding teacup with both hands and stare blankly out the window like a psychiatric patient. My stomach is beginning to settle from recent abuse. On Monday, i thought it would be interesting to make flax bread. Somehow i managed to add at least ten times the required amount of ground flaxseed to the dough (c'mon, measuring spoons are for losers), so now i'm experiencing a self-inflicted intestinal scouring and literally shitting bricks. Tuesday night i somhow missed supper writing the 7pm exam. After, mixing uppers and downers (coffee and...baileys?) on an otherwise empty stomach before the show started at Amigos only churned it up worse! Which calls to mind a similar incident, following the recent Kiwifruit price war. Some housemates and i were at the market and adjacent fruit vendors were trying to sell off kiwis. "Ten for a dolla!" "Over here, 15 for dollar!" Not to pass up the bargain, we indulged. Arriving home it became apparent that the fruits were very, very ripe. Squishy ripe. As cash-strapped students, there was no way this windfall should go to waste... and it didn't. So everyone shat green for a week.

 

Made my day:  Simone, Erin, Lauren, Lucki and i pulled off a 92 on our extensive planning project, unheard of from our draconian lecturer!! (Yes, the one who experiences auditory hallucinations during class)

 

Unmade my day: Tempo run today had to be cut short, as my skeletal rubix cube of a foot is slowly pushing my cubiod bone out of alignment. "Can you fix it?" " No? Then stop f*%#'n  whining." Todd has always has quick solution to everything, according to Moses. He could eat a rubix cube and shit it out solved. I only wish i could be that organized.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I gave my youngest brother Stephen a pin to stick in the map on the wall to decide where to jet off to. "I'm not sending you to Thailand, you'd probably get hit by a tsunami or something." Aww. How caring, pragmatic, sensible. He picked rio de janeiro "as long as there's no car bombs, ok?" Ruled by the safety of routine, Stephen needs to have his breakfast bagel cut a specific way, then covered with the correctly titrated proportions of peanut butter and honey; glass of milk filled precisely to 3 cm from the top, and alternates the same 2 sweatshirts every day. Yaaaawn. Note to self: do not bring him on aforementioned escape.

 

Hung out in neuromed at St Pauls today- personalities ranging from defiant to belligerent. Intersting situations. Note to self: don't have a stroke, while drunk. In recent weeks i'd gotten into a routine up in the orthopedics, where attitude is everything. We had a 95 year old woman just out of total hip replacement surgery welcoming other patients to "this torture chamber!!"...and another guy saying this is the "road to the way out"... (Is the glass half full, or just 3 cm from the top?)

 

I can't wait for my 8:30 class tomorrow morning. Really. I can't wait to read lecture slides lifted verbatim from our readings package, then to sit in stunned silence with 19 other people while our lecturer asks for verbatim answers!!!

Typical morning:

"Can anyone tell me what the point of this article (on wheelchair sport) is?"

"Anyone?"

".......Bueller?......anoyone?"

 

*silence*

*snow-encrusted tumbleweeds roll by*

 

.... which is where our 'mature' student takes the floor, and launches onto a tangent about Maori war dances, and everyone cringes politely, suddenly becoming very interested in their earwax deposits, hangnails, etc.

Prof: "Thank you for your, uh, views"

15 minutes later: She is telling us about how times are so much different for us now, people's moms don't do ALL the laundry anymore, kids still send gangs after each other, we don't get to stand and stretch during exams anymore, ....~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~ oooh , rabbits...

 

However, nothing gets me up in the morning like kinac 200.2, Projectiles, taught by the best grade 2 teacher in the whole college. At first I thought it was going to be about biomechanics or something. On the plus side, after tomorrow's 1.5h of redundantly painful pain, i can now teach people to throw things.

Poetic justice says Dr. Ninja may get a pie (a 'pi', if you will) in the face from the engineers tomorrow...

 

On the upside, i might get to play some co-ed soccer next weekend:)

AND i'm about to get published...:)

 

 

 

En dos partes dividida

tengo el alma en confusión:

una, esclava a la pasión,

y otra, a la razón medida.

 

 

(Desde la poeta Sor Juana en el siglo XVI...)

...or you'll surely drown."

 

Said the monkey, placing the fish safely in a tree.